Order In The Court

Court is in session, prosecutor and defence lawyers debate the fate of recently deceased.
Will the accused defendants be allowed to advance to Heaven or will they be rerouted to . . well, actually, Hell? The results are usually as we might expect, but can you believe that some defendants are actually asking for a hot and unhappy eternity?

Written by former DramaShare member John Humphries

Cast: 7

• Judge Yaweh the presiding judge – male
• Jesus Cristo the Judge’s son, defence attorney – male
• Satana prosecuting attorney, better known as The Accuser – m or f
• Bailiff m or f
• I. M . Righteous, defendant – m or f
• ‘Amy Christian, defendant – m or f
• Narrator m or f

Bible Reference: Romans 3:10-18

Set: bare

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 16

Sample of script:

[Lights up. The stage is set to resemble a high courtroom. A large bench sits upstage center where JUDGE YAHWEH is presiding. BAILIFF stands beside the bench. SATANA, the prosecuting attorney, is at the prosecution table. JESUS CRISTO is at the defense table. The defendant’s table is off to the side.]

NARRATOR:
Our play opens in a high court. Judge Yaweh is presiding. The prosecuting attorney is none other than that crafty attorney, Satana, better known as The Accuser. The defence attorney is Jesus Cristo.

The first defendant, I. M. Righteous, takes the witness stand to be sworn in by the bailiff. She has no defence attorney since she doesn’t feel she needs to defend herself.

BAILIFF:
Please state your name and occupation.

I. M.:
My name is I. M. Righteous. I was self-employed and ran a highly successful computer dot.com business. This past year, I grossed over a million dollars. Furthermore…

BAILIFF:
That will do. Please raise your right hand. Do you, I. M. Righteous, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you… (pauses, looks at judge) …well, you know.

I. M.:
I do.

BAILIFF:
Please be seated.

[SATANA stands and crosses to I. M.]

SATANA:
I understand that you were a very successful businesswoman and very active in your community before your unfortunate automobile accident that took your life. Is that true?

I. M.:
You’ve got that right. I was just starting to make it big. There was even an article on me in Forbes Magazine and The Wall Street Journal. Talk about bad luck… who knows what I might have been able to accomplish if it hadn’t have been for that stupid accident.

SATANA:
The accident in which you were driving under the influence and lost your life in a head-on collision with an oncoming car?

I. M.:
Yeah, that one. But I was just barely over the legal alcohol limit and I wasn’t driving that far. My home wasn’t very far from the party. Besides, the driver of the car in front of me was driving too slow… that’s why I passed him on a curve, so it was really his fault.

SATANA:
I see. Did you have any other traffic violations?

I. M.:
Just a couple of speeding tickets but the highway patrolman singled me out… (getting defensive) I was just keeping up with traffic.

SATANA:
Enough about your driving record. Tell me about your accomplishments on earth.

I. M. (proudly):
Well, I was president of my Rotary Club chapter, I was a big sister in the Partners program, I headed up the fund drive for the United Way, and I was selected as Businesswoman of the Year in my community 3 years in a row.

SATANA:
Impressive. It sounds like you gave a lot to your community.

I. M.:
Isn’t that the American Way? I believed in helping those who unfortunately weren’t as successful or as good as I was. It made me feel good to know that I was being a good citizen.

SATANA:
No further questions, Your Honor.

JUDGE:
Ms. Righteous, I understand that you were not a Christian and furthermore, you wanted nothing to do with my Son, Jesus.

I. M.:
That’s right, Your Honor. I didn’t need Him because I never did anything really bad. Besides, all of my good works plus my financial and social status should be good enough to get me into Heaven. You must admit, I did pretty well.

JUDGE (turns to Jesus):
Well, son, did you know the accused?

JESUS:
Well, Father, I tried but… (hangs and shakes head sadly) …she just didn’t want anything to do with me. I even sent several people who were Christians to talk to her but she wouldn’t listen. And as you know, I don’t force my friendship on anyone. It has to be a free choice.

JUDGE:
I. M., you may return to your seat at the defendant’s table but remain standing and face the bench for your verdict.

[I. M. returns to defendant’s table, turns to face the judge.]

JUDGE:
Sadly, I must find you guilty of being a sinner and since you have no defence and have shown no remorse for your actions, I have no other recourse than to let you choose to go to Hell. You wouldn’t be happy in Heaven because my Son and I are there.

I. M.:
That’s fine with me, Your Honor. I wouldn’t want to be there with all those (sarcastically) goody-two-shoe Christians. All of my friends will be in the other place.

JUDGE:
So let it be written, so let it be done.

[I. M. Righteous is led out by the Bailiff.]

JUDGE:
Next case.

[BAILIFF returns to the courtroom.]

BAILIFF:
The next case is the judgment of Amy Christian… (turns to audience) …the case is better known as Judging Amy. Would Amy Christian please take the witness stand to be sworn in?

[Amy Christian takes the witness stand.]

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